Understanding your relationship
Most relationships go through difficult times. You may find yourselves having the same arguments over and over, feeling increasingly distant, or struggling to understand one another in ways you once found easier.
Sometimes something has happened that has shaken your trust. At other times, you've simply grown apart without quite knowing how it happened.
Whatever has brought you here, it doesn't necessarily mean your relationship is failing. Relationships change as we move through life, and sometimes the ways we've learned to relate to one another no longer work as well as they once did.
Couples therapy offers an opportunity to slow things down, understand what's happening between you, and begin to build a relationship that works better for you both.
Understanding the patterns between you
When couples are struggling, it's natural to focus on what the other person is doing or not doing. But difficulties are rarely as simple as one person being the problem.
Over time, couples can become caught in patterns of conflict, withdrawal or misunderstanding. Often, each person is trying to protect themselves in some way, but the very things they do to feel safer can unintentionally leave their partner feeling hurt, rejected or misunderstood.
In our work together, we'll explore these patterns with curiosity rather than blame. My role isn't to take sides or decide who's right or wrong, but to help you both feel heard and begin to understand what's happening between you.
How I Work with Couples
My approach draws on Transactional Analysis, alongside developmental and systemic thinking.
This means we'll look at what's happening in your relationship now, while also exploring how your earlier experiences may influence the way you respond to one another.
Our experiences of growing up, family relationships, attachment and individual differences in how we communicate or process emotions can all shape what happens between us as adults.
Understanding these influences can help you make sense of reactions that may previously have seemed confusing or hurtful.
I offer a calm, supportive and structured space where both partners have the opportunity to speak openly, listen to one another and explore what might need to change.
The aim isn't to create a perfect relationship or to remove every disagreement. It's to help you understand one another more deeply, move away from unhelpful patterns and develop ways of relating that feel more connected, respectful and satisfying.
What to Expect from Couples Therapy
Coming to couples therapy for the first time can feel daunting, particularly if things have been difficult between you for some time. You may be unsure what to expect, or worried about how it will feel to talk openly in front of one another.
Our first meeting gives us time to explore what has brought you to therapy, hear both of your perspectives and begin to understand what you would each like to be different.
There is no expectation that you will agree about everything, or even see the difficulties in the same way. What matters is that we begin to understand what is happening between you.
As we work together, we'll explore the patterns in your relationship, develop a greater understanding of each other's experiences and look at ways of making changes that feel meaningful and sustainable.
Sessions and Fees
Couples therapy is available in person in Lincoln or online.
Sessions usually last 90 minutes, allowing us time to explore difficulties without feeling rushed.
Our first session is normally two hours, giving us a little more time to understand your relationship and what you hope to gain from therapy.
The fee is £150 for a 90-minute session. A two-hour initial session is £200.
Taking the Next Step
If you're finding things difficult in your relationship, you don't have to wait until things reach a crisis before seeking support.
Whether you're struggling with repeated disagreements, feeling disconnected or simply recognising that something needs to change, couples therapy can offer a space to begin exploring a different way forward.
If you'd like to find out more or arrange an initial appointment, you're welcome to get in touch.
Looking for a More Focused Approach?
For couples who would prefer to set aside dedicated time to work on their relationship, I also offer The Safe Hands Intensive.
This is a more concentrated, in-person approach, giving us the opportunity to explore your relationship in greater depth over two consecutive days, rather than through regular weekly sessions.
You can find out more on The Safe Hands Intensive page.